Murphy's Laws of Combat

Young Mr. Murphy was a practical man... one's of the world's foremost pragmatists. He was the first to codify the difference between what military people are told ... and what really awaits them in the world.

It's kind of the military version of "The Biggest Lies in the World," (The check is in the mail,) and(Yes, of COURSE I'll respect you in the morning...)

I've been compiling Mr. Murphy's real-world laws of combat and here they are:

1. Friendly fire - isn't.

2. Suppressive fires – won’t.

3. Recoilles rifles – aren’t.

4. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.

5. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire

6. Don’t draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

7. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

7. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

8. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

9. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

10. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

11. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

12. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

13. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

14. If your attack is going well, you're walking into an enemy ambush.

15. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

16. The enemy always attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not.

17. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact with the enemy.

18. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

19. Five-second fuses always burn down in three seconds.

20. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

21. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

22. The easy way is always mined.

23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

24. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

25. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

26. Incoming fire has the right of way.

27. No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.

28. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.

29. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

30. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

31. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

32. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

33. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

34. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

35. Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing.

36. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can’t get out.

37. Tracers work both ways.

38. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

39. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

40. Professional soldiers are predictable; but the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

41. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

42. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

43. Weather ain't neutral.

44. If you can't remember, your Claymores are probably pointed towards you.

45. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.

46. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.

47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

48. Napalm is an area support weapon.

49. Mines are equal-opportunity weapons.

50. B-52s and battleships are the ultimate close support weapons.

51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

53. The one item you need is always in short supply.

54. Interchangeable parts aren't.

55. It's not the bullet with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

56. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

59. No matter what the supply specialist tells you, you will NOT receive it when you get in-country!

60. Murphy was a grunt.