1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just p*ss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet..
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the fire hydrant.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment...but it can make for some great memories.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse .... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Vox Populi, vox Dei. (Latin for, "My God, who dealt this mess?")
As the President is wont to say, "Let me be crystal clear ..." (Now that I think of it, the idea of a Chicago politician being crystal clear on anything is so mind-numbing as to be beyond human ken,)
But I digress.
I want to be clear ...I am no Tea Party Person. Never much of a joiner, to begin with (except for that whole, 37-year Navy thing, that is.)
I hold no political truck with blowhards of either political extreme, whether Pachyderm or Burro. I hold the Rush Limbaughs of the world in as much distaste as I do the Al Frankens.
Frankly, I was heart-sick when a US Congressman of my (Republican) party, and a former Navy pilot at that, was sent to prison for graft a few years ago. But I am JUST as sickened at a US (Democrat) congressman from down south getting sent to jail when he was caught keeping graft money in his office refrigerator.
But maybe one ... just one ... of the Tea Party's battle cries this year has caught my attention and is taking hold.
"Vote the Bums Out!"
As much as navigating the darker corners of Washington is a learned skill-set, mayhap there's something to be said for starting afresh, and getting a whole new bunch of rascals into Congress this year. Maybe if we do that, we'll have at least a few years of Congress representing US ... the people that put them in office ... before they metamorphose into the usual collection of political scoundrels and circus clowns.
So, on Primary and on election day, consider voting the bums ... ALL OF THEM ... out of office and starting anew.
But I digress.
I want to be clear ...I am no Tea Party Person. Never much of a joiner, to begin with (except for that whole, 37-year Navy thing, that is.)
I hold no political truck with blowhards of either political extreme, whether Pachyderm or Burro. I hold the Rush Limbaughs of the world in as much distaste as I do the Al Frankens.
Frankly, I was heart-sick when a US Congressman of my (Republican) party, and a former Navy pilot at that, was sent to prison for graft a few years ago. But I am JUST as sickened at a US (Democrat) congressman from down south getting sent to jail when he was caught keeping graft money in his office refrigerator.
But maybe one ... just one ... of the Tea Party's battle cries this year has caught my attention and is taking hold.
"Vote the Bums Out!"
As much as navigating the darker corners of Washington is a learned skill-set, mayhap there's something to be said for starting afresh, and getting a whole new bunch of rascals into Congress this year. Maybe if we do that, we'll have at least a few years of Congress representing US ... the people that put them in office ... before they metamorphose into the usual collection of political scoundrels and circus clowns.
So, on Primary and on election day, consider voting the bums ... ALL OF THEM ... out of office and starting anew.
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