As it came out of its box, it had all the grace and beauty of a railroad tie.
My 1943 Soviet-era Mosin Nagant M1930 rifle was covered in 67 years worth of cosmoline and crud. The laquered finish of the stock was cracked and darkened from age (and more cosmoline), like those ancient painted icons you see in old Eastern Orthodox churches. When I first beheld it in its box, it had all the polish of a burnt meatloaf ... and a dirty one at that. (Hey, what did I expect for a whopping $89.95 cash money?) The first time I touched it, my fingers stuck to the stock. (ewww)
But I nevertheless was holding my breath when I finally took it out of the box. In my hands was history. I held a historic artifact, much as an archaeologist might find in some dusty Middle Eastern dig site.
(OK ... that was a little over the top. Few Middle Eastern archaeologists ever unearthed a Mosin Nagant firearm ... or ANYTHING more advanced than a Bronze Age spear point... but you catch my drift.) Somewhere under the grime was a thing of lethal beauty. Like an archaeologist, I was going to have to be patient and use the firearms equivalent of a camel's hair brush to whisk away the decades of disuse and muck.
But I was frankly stumped. There wasn't a clean spot on the thing. How in the hell do you clean something that has been immersed in sticky axle grease and grime for more than half a century?
A few days research on the Internet showed I had several options:
1. Move to Texas, and hang the rifle in the sun for a few days. (Cosmoline melts at a mere 135 degrees and the Southwestern sun easily can heat things up that much. However, since I don't speak Texan, this was not my preferred option.)
2. Take everything apart and put it in the oven to bake at the lowest setting. (Since most chat rooms caution that this makes the whole house stink of petroleum, this also didn't make the cut.)
3. Take everything apart, and run it through the dishwasher. (Again, the Internet chat rooms caution that the melted cosmoline tends to run down household pipes only for about five feet before congealing again, this ALSO wasn't a great option.)
4. Take everything apart, and place all the parts in a galvanized garbage can. Into the can, place several work lights, which will heat everything up and melt the cosmoline. (My condo is already small, and I'm supposed to find somewhere to place a galvanized garbage can ... and start heating it up???? Fail!)
On the fifth day of searching the net, I found one mention of a guy who borrowed his wife's clothes steamer, and steamed the cosmoline and gunk out. I began searching Kathy's closets and storage for a clothes steamer. But my darling wife had other plans. She went to a charity rummage sale and bought me a used shop steam gun for $2 (cash money). I was HAPPY!!! I sat down outside and, armed with a hammer, a screwdriver and a pocket knife, disassembled my still-gunky rifle. I set to work with the steamer.
Twenty minutes later a rifle began appearing beneath the layers of yuck and grime.
Directing the steam stream onto the grease-soaked stock, the cosmoline yellowed, melted and dropped off in huge globs into the aluminum pan below. Steaming the bolt soon rewarded me with a gleaming, tool-steel bolt whose armorer's bow-and-arrow markings shone afresh.
I chanced to glance down the bore of the barrel. I winced and wished I hadn't. Where normally one expects to find the ever-graceful spiral grooves glinting in the light of reflected sun, this rifle bore was solid black. (Gulp!)
I got hardcore. I stuck the steam nozzle into the breach, pulled the trigger and let fly. Huge black globs of slime dripped from the muzzle, along with wisps of steam. Soon the globs disappeared, and the rifle barrel was blowing steam like Vesuvius just about to erupt.
An hour later, it was done. My Soviet beauty shone in the sunlight, a thing reborn.
All reassembled, it was as tall as I am. The pike bayonet made it as tall as most tent poles. You could pole vault with this thing. But it's friggin' gorgeous.
The armorer's marks show it was made in 1943 at the Ishvesk arsenal, and proof tested for accuracy. (Something I intend upon doing myself as soon as I can unearth some 7.62mm x 54r ammo for it.)
Maybe some archaeologist will unearth some at his dig site.
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